Advice for spouses in stressful time – listen

Advice for spouses

What advice do you give to spouses during time of stress? Speaking from my personal experience, here are some that I find critical in helping both my husband and I, become closer.

In stressful time, listen to each other. Instead of blaming, talk. Instead of nagging, listen. Take time to support each other rather than fight.

Advice

Firstly – Plan ahead to block time off

When our son attends school, both of us find time to ourselves for the first time. Some mornings, we have breakfast together. Other time, we just drive around and talk to each other.

Occasionally, we explore new sights and share our mutual interest, photography. Simply spending time together, whether it is to just chat over life or over mutual interest.

I discover that by spending time with my spouse just the two of us, It helps to rekindle some of those sparks once lost because of our busy life. Above all, do not take this for granted.

Advice

Secondly – Your spouse is not the enemy

Recognize that moment when you perceive your spouse as the enemy is the result of feeling unsupported. When your are in that state of mind, it is time to talk to your spouse about it.

Here is an example of what not to do

My problem is, I have the tendency to keep my emotions to myself for a while. The only time I will talk about how I feel is when I am about to explode.

Then I finally confront my husband and we both explode together. Obviously, that, is not good.

Advice – What we learn

At the end of every conversation, we often come to realize we need each other. My spouse then does his best to help me out. I finally feel better.

One thing I do learn from our experience, is that when we sit and talk about our emotions, we help each other alleviate our stress level.

I learn that by talking about my needs, my spouse then knows how to help me reduce that stress level. At the same time, when I listen to him, he feels supported. While, keeping this in mind, we are not each other’s enemies.

Advice

Thirdly – Stop nagging, respond by actively listen

The fact is we all have stress. You are not the only one stressing out. However, during a crisis, it is important to identify who has the higher stress.

When the one who suffers because of high stress, becomes non functional, the other provides the support. This key point is very crucial to get everyone through the crisis.

 Conclusive advice

I conclude that by actively listening to our spouse, we not only help each other reduce our stress level, we solve our spouse’s problems. We feel absolutely supported and henceforth, we will avoid escalating a crisis.

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