A Talk About Anger
As a parent, did you ever have to talk to your child about anger? The issue is real in a child growing up. There are moments where as a parent we have to engage and sometimes confront our kids about their struggle coping with it. It is not a pleasant conversation but a necessary reinforcement if the behavior persists.
My question is: What would you tell your child about the emotion? Yes, anger is a natural emotion that if provoked, is normal. But, the issue is how do you regulate that emotion and not be subdued by it? What do you mean? Well, here’s where I would like to discuss whether being angry is a problem or is inability to control it, the problem? What then is the solution if any?
Cause And Effect Of Anger
Do you agree with me that such emotion is not desirable and not acceptable socially? Now ask yourself why it is so? So, you think it is destructive? Have you thought about why such behavior is destructive?
I have a 5-year-old whom I spend substantial time explaining why anger is not an emotion that brings happiness around people. This is what I’ve said to him. Do not try to collect and stay angry for a long time. The more frustration you collect, the worst you would feel inside. It would eventually reach a point you cannot hold in any longer and you explode.
When you explode, others around you get hurt. So, they begin to collect anger like you and the more they collect, the more they hold in and subsequently, they explode too. This time, when they explode, you get hurt by them. The cycle continues.
Questions And Discussion – Is Anger A Good Thing?
At this point, I stop to ask him some questions. Do you think being angry is a good thing? Why and why not? I need to ask these questions in order to know if he understands what I’m trying to tell him. Being a bright little guy, he shows that he has understood me. So, he concludes that being and stay angry is not a good thing because it hurts others and himself. So, what’s the solution?
What Would You Tell Your Child? – Staying Away From Anger
Now, I change the scenario and instead of staying angry, I encourage him to think about what if. What if you give away hugs? What would happen? Everyone is happy. What are we collecting this time? Happiness. Is happiness a good thing? When you feel good and everyone around you feels good, it brings joy and smiles instead of hurts. Let us collect hugs and spread happiness instead. We need to understand that in some cases, there are exceptions.
Exceptional Situation Beyond Our Understanding
Some kids have difficulty controlling their emotions due to some disability, that is true. Emotional outbursts are often the result of a child’s inability to control his/her emotion. Expressing complex emotions can be perplexed for some, therefore, it is a real difficult challenge for them. There are several reasons why they are struggling although, there are times, it may not necessary be their fault.
For example, children with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) have difficulty controlling their emotions and we need sensitivity and awareness when we meet a child with ADHD. How do we encourage our kids to include friends with ADHD during play time?
The Next Question Is
How do we then teach our children to relate with others who are different? Fear often stops us from wanting to relate with someone who is different from us. There are several reasons why we are afraid. How do we teach our kiddos to open up to peers unlike their thinking?
If you have any input to add to our discussion, please feel free to comment on our post below. What would you say is a good solution to teach our kiddos about anger and what can we learn from them?